Those ever-so-delightful aliens are at it again, preparing to invade the Earth. Witnesses report seeing several UFOs congregating in the vicinity of the nation's capitol.

Another witness, Jethro Jackson said he also witnessed strange activity this past July. "Yo, wuz like dis, know what I'm sayin'. Deez crazy lights be all over da sky an' like 'xplosions and stuff. Yo, it was wacked, know what I'm sayin'. Word."

President Clinton could not be reached for comment, but it is assumed that the US will take drastic precautions in the wake of the imminent invasion.

"We cannot stand idly by and watch our beloved Earth fall into the hands of those vile alien oppressors" stated the brave and valiant Dr.X in a news conference yesterday. "The people of the world must unite to repel this horrific horde of hateful villains."

Local police are already bracing for the worst, preparing riot gear and tear gas. "This is sure to cause a panic if it ever sees print" says local Sheriff Hyman Tysdowsky, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "If this news was to be made public, we'll see a level of hysteria never before witnessed by man!"

Aliens rally their troops

A spy reported recently that the notorious aliens were seen rallying their troops. The vile alien leader was giving a speech to incite his followers against the benevolent and peace-loving people of Earth. The dastardly dictator was overheard saying "Those foul Earthlings will never know what hit them. We'll free our captive brothers and unleash havoc on their pitiful world!" It is a well-known fact that the Cat Alien leader speaks perfect English and may, in fact, be living on Earth in disguise. If you spot the alien leader in your neighborhood, do not attempt to apprehend him yourself. He is very dangerous.

Contrary to popular belief, the aliens are not fun loving and cuddly. They are in fact hateful monsters bent on the destruction of the Earth. Unlike movies like E.T. and Star Wars where aliens help the humans, these are out to destroy us. "In my studies, 10 out of every 17 aliens are hostile to humans" says Dr. Gustav Rubanov of M.I.T. "Even more interesting, 6 out of every 7 aliens is brought up in a broken home, which leads me to believe that their neglectful society is fostering these feelings of hatred."

The advice for now is do not approach any aliens in the street. Do not engage in any conversation with them. Do not board any strange UFOs or flying saucers. "People would be wise to follow these guidelines" says Dr. Rubanov.

-- contributed by Jenkins