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Lion King -- "We will not surrender our civil rights." Shakespeare -- taking credit for someone else's work?

2/26/99 -- Bill Gates to buy US Government Microsoft CEO Bill Gates announced that Microsoft plans to buy out the US Government. "Day to day operations won't change" says Gates, who denies trying to buy out everything in sight. The American flag will, however, now feature the Microsoft logo. 2/17/99 -- Lions roam streets of New York After conducting numerous experiments and polling over 400 citizens, it was determined by scientists at Berkley that a pride of lions is roaming the streets of New York as we speak. New York city mayor Rudy Guiliani was unavailable for comment. 2/11/99 -- 2012 Olympics to be held on Moon It was confirmed yesterday that the 2012 Olympics will be held on the Moon, barring any bribery allegations. Moon president Jiri Montague said "This is a great moment in the history of the Moon!" 2/5/99 -- Drug Related Murder Shocks 5 A drug-related murderer killed someone yesterday. Five people were shocked to hear this. 2/5/99 -- Shakespeare did not write the Bible After exhaustive studies, it was determined yesterday that Shakespeare did not, in fact, write the Holy Bible.