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Thursday, December 3, 1998 At a press conference yesterday, famed snowman, Frosty, announced that he is not involved in the Christmas Scandal. | |
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"I believe that it is an atrocity" he states. "What Claus and his thugs have accomplished is to sully a very wonderful and joyous holiday." Frosty continued, "I would like to take this opportunity to say that I was not involved in any way with any of the shady characters." Frosty fielded questions from reporters for 25 minutes before the heat from the spotlights caused him to start melting. Frosty was named as a key witness for the prosecution. Dr.X has learned that Frosty was approached by crooked Claus to deliver a large shipment of arms to an outpost in Greenland. Frosty refused and was apparently beaten into submission by several of Santa's goons. Frosty has applied for the Witness Relocation Program, but is limited in the nubmer of places he can be transported. Dr.X is skeptical about Frosty's innocense. "I'd like to believe Frosty. Maybe he is innocent," explains the benevolent doctor. "But we have learned not to place our trust in our childhood heroes. Frosty might just be biding his time, an agent on the outside, you might say." Authorities are still investigating Frosty's claims.
-- contributed by staff writer Hiroshita |
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