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Wednesday, December 2, 1998 Although most of the evidence so far is very convincing, some believe that Santa Claus is innocent of the charges brought against him and his clan. Therese-Marie Levaulent has proposed a theory as to how Claus could have been framed. | |
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"It is entirely in the realm of possibility that Claus is not responsible for the heinous acts he has been accused of," Levaulent argues. "I believe that Claus has been kidnapped and an impostor is now running the show. For example, ever since Tony and Melf joined the ranks of Santa's elite, there have been telltale signs of a takeover. I believe that Tony is the true ringleader and that the current Santa Claus is a puppet Santa Claus." "Furthermore, I believe that the real Santa and his reindeer are being held captive in an ice dungeon somewhere off the coast of Antarctica. The Elfen slaves have been subjugated and forced to work in horrible conditions." Levaulent has alerted the authorities, but has not been able to convince anyone. Authorities cite the lack of evidence and say they cannot follow up on a mere speculation. Dr.X speculates that Levaulent is merely trying to make excuses for the callous Claus. "It is truly sad that these events have this effect on people" he explained. "It is obvious that Levaulent made up all her stories to get attention. There is simply too much evidence against Santa. Any defenders immediately cause their own character to be questioned." Dr.X, of course, is right. Levaulent was jailed for siding with Santa Claus. Officials had no further comments on her demented theories.
-- contributed by senior correspondent Stan Patchley |
 "Perhaps we've all made an error" -- Levaulent |
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