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Friday, December 18, 1998 A calculated assassination attempt by secret operatives was foiled by an imposter posing as Santa Claus.
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The apparent assassination attempt by elite forces came up empty as they instead targetted an imposter dressed to decoy the troops. The real Santa was believed to be close by watching and laughing. The troops reported hearing eerie laughter nearby. The US government denies involvement, but Dr.X believes it is all a cover up. "It is so obvious. They are embarrassed because they hit the wrong target and don't want anyone to know they fouled up" explains the eminent Dr.X. The imposter Claus was believed to be Heinrich von Shtuber, an alleged political prisoner of Claus. Claus apparently set him up to be killed by dressing him up in the traditional Claus garb. Claus also planted several reindeer, which were in fact members of a reindeer resistance front. When asked to comment Claus replied "Those bastards got what they deserved! Of course, I had nothing to do with it." Dr.X believes the opposite. "It is clear that Claus is up to his shenanigans again," the supremely intelligent Dr.X retorted. "Only a blind, ignorant fool cannot see the truth. Claus is a crook of the lowest kind."
-- contributed by the illustrious Dr.X |
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