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Wednesday, December 2, 1998 Santa Claus reindeer Prancer was present at the bloody riot yesterday at the Walt Wittman Plaza.
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A witness, Fred Hugme, told reporters that it all started when Prancer's credit card was refused at a Macy's department store. Enraged, the belligerent buck rammed the manager of the aforementioned store. Thousands of customers and employees joined in the delightful madness as columns fell, causing the entire superstructure to collapse, killing all. Prancer escaped before this happened. Delighted by the bloodshed, Prancer was seen exiting the scene during the riot. He later returned and plundered all the merchandise in the collapsed stores. He then proceeded to deface the corpse of the department-store Santa by writing the words "No one shall mock the true Santa Claus." Prancer was found yesterday in his dressing room on the set of a movie he was filming. He was taken into custody by federal troops and taken to the federal prison. But Santa had his say. At midnight, Santa's goons broke the wretched reindeer out of the slammer and rode off into the night. Prancer was heard shouting the words "Death to all!" Prancer was not heard from since. Dr.X has a clue as to his whereabouts. "He is obviously hiding at the Lou True Blue DeOraneu Nightclub. This is the place where all evil beings hang out and think they are safe. Wait until I get there!"
-- contributed by senior staff writer Stan Patchley |  "He is not, nor will he ever be, at this establishment"
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